


If the Courses Be Departed From

by TheFirstMrsHummel



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Brief suicidal ideation, Episode: s05e14 Life is a Cabaret, Gen, What-If, vague reference to abortion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-29
Updated: 2019-06-29
Packaged: 2020-05-29 13:46:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19401559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFirstMrsHummel/pseuds/TheFirstMrsHummel
Summary: After the Crows movie is scrapped, Moira begs the universe for a do-over.





	If the Courses Be Departed From

**Author's Note:**

> Title unabashedly stolen from Charles Dickens’s A Christmas Carol. I am not sure what angsty muse took over my brain on this one, but I just sort of went with it. But as with all my stories, a happy ending is always guaranteed!

Once she crawled out of the closet a couple of hours after getting the call that her movie had been shelved, Moira realized that everyone had left the room except for John. He was sitting on the bed in his shirtsleeves, bracing his forehead on his knuckles, eyes squeezed closed tightly.

“John?” Moira said brokenly, reaching a single hand out to him.

“Moira, sweetheart,” Johnny said. His smile was soft but his eyes were concerned and worried. “We should get you to bed.”

“There’s no hope. None whatsoever, that we’ll escape from this barren wasteland. Why did it happen? Why are we fated to lose everything, no matter how hard we try?”

“Come to bed. Things will seem better in the morning, I promise.”

Moira let her husband change her into silk pajamas and a vest, holding out two brooches for her to choose from.

“What does it matter? What does any of it matter now?”

She collapsed into bed, Johnny tucking the covers over her gently.

“I love you, Moira. We all do.” She heard her husband suck in a breath, then release it slowly. “I’m sorry it’s not enough.”

Moira tried to fight through the cobwebs of unconsciousness, but it claimed her before she could break the spell.

When she awoke next, Johnny was asleep beside her, dead to the world. He must have been so, as he seemed to have no awareness of the ungodly brightness of the room, nor the beautiful glowing woman swathed in white at the end of their bed.

“What is it you wish for, Moira Rose?” The ethereal being extended her hand, long blond hair whipping in an undetectable wind.

“Who the hell are you?” Moira willed her voice to be strong, but it shook nonetheless.

“My name is of no importance, though you can call me Sibyl for your own purposes. I am only here to show you what could be, if only you had your dearest wish come true. Give it voice, and see it as it would be, if you have the courage.”

Moira slipped out from under the covers, facing the woman with her face and mind set in equal measures.

“I wish we had never lost our fortune. That we had never come to this God-forsaken town, and everything was as it was before Levi stole it all away.”

The woman smiled beatifically, bringing her hands to Moira’s shoulders. “So it shall be.”

~*~

There was an explosion of light, then a quick darkening before Moira found herself in John’s old office. Her husband looked several years older, and he was holding out his hands to two official looking men in dark suits. They didn’t look much different from the men who had stripped her family of their belongings right before they came to Schitt’s Creek.

“John Rose, you have been charged with multiple illegal offshore activities, including but not limited to underage pornography, human trafficking and narcotics distribution.”

“I didn’t know,” said Johnny desperately, offering up his wrists just the same. “It’s not an excuse, I just trusted the wrong people. Just leave my family out of it, and I’ll give you anything you want. They had no idea, I swear.”

“What is this?” Moira cried, shocked and reaching for her husband.

“He’s telling the truth,” said Sybil solemnly. “Not that it matters. He’ll send the rest of his life in prison, though one of the more…what is it you call them? White collar ones?”

“John would never…”

“Did you ever think he would trust a man that would steal your fortune? Of course, you didn’t. He followed whatever path provided you all with the most income and made a point to not ask questions. This is par for the course, Moira Rose.”

~*~

There was another bright flash of light, then Moira found herself next to Sybil in a grand room with sand-colored walls and brilliant tiles. At the center stood Alexis, hands folded over her waist and facing a dark haired, handsome man.

“You’ve been careless, my love,” the man said.

“Not on purpose,” said Alexis, her eyes shining with hope and love that Moira recognized easily. “Let me keep this one, Stavros. We’ve been together for years. I know you don’t believe in marriage, but let me have this baby. I won’t ask you for anything, my family will…”

Stavros laughed in a way that sent a chill up Moira’s spine. “Your imprisoned father? Or perhaps your absent mother? Or oh, is it your brother David, who could theoretically care about anything but his most recent lay or score, but doesn’t?”

“I just think it would be nice to have something of my own to love.” Alexis’s voice was thin and lacking any trace of confidence, leading Moira to wonder what had happened to her brave, defiant daughter.

“Are you saying my love isn’t enough for you, darling?” Stavros’s tone dripped ice. “After everything I’ve done? You know where you’d be without me, sitting in a dirty foreign cell, waiting for someone in your family to care enough to respond to your pleas for help.”

“It wasn’t David’s fault. He was in rehab. They took his phone for weeks.”

“He couldn’t save you, but I did. You remember what you promised me, Alexis? You’d do whatever I wanted if I got you out. Of course, if you’d like to change the terms, that could be arranged. It might mean that your father would be transferred to a less posh facility, though. At the same time, I could also ask that all of your mother’s and brother’s debts be settled up with me before I let you leave. Is that what you want?”

Tears rose to Moira’s eyes as she watched Alexis fold in on herself, hugging her arms to her torso. “No, Stavros, that’s not what I want. I’m sorry I pressed you on this.”

“How did this happen?” Moira gasped.

Sybil’s face was grave. “You and David made some very bad decisions, financially speaking. You followed in John’s footsteps, trusting the wrong people, and your fortune is nearly as tenuous as it was in current reality. Alexis’s lover has covered your debts and allowed you to keep your current lifestyle, but her freedom is the price.”

“I can’t believe we would do that! We wouldn’t!”

“You both distract yourself from thinking about it. The longer it goes on without seeing her, the easier it becomes.”

“I want to see my son!” cried Moira, unable to bear the sight of Alexis reaching up to embrace Stavros, her eyes dead of the emotion they had previously held. A stab of regret pierced her chest, and she longed for the hope that not everything in this unrealized world was as bad as Sybil was making it sound.

“So it shall be.”

~*~

Moira recognized David’s SoHo loft, having visited a handful of times when her travels took her to New York. Everything was draped in shadows, the silvery light of early morning barely piercing the windows. After a few moments of letting her eyes adjust, she spotted David on the edge of his bed, phone clutched in his hand tightly.

“Can you come over? I know it’s late…or early, what the fuck ever. Just come?” David’s tone was desperate.

A voice squawked over the speaker, high pitched and indistinguishable in regard to gender. “Jesus Christ, David, it’s not even 5am. What do you want?”

“I don’t want to be alone.”

Moira took a closer look, now that her eyes had adjusted. David was wearing a loose tank top, dark bruises decorating his shoulders and neck. His hair was a tangled mess, with swipes of golden glitter painted along his arms and the crest of his cheekbone.

“I’m not your emotional support animal, David.” The voice sounded exhausted and resigned. “All you ever do is take, and I’m done with that. I told you so. You need to stop calling me when you’re wasted and lonely. I’m blocking your number.”

“No, please don’t.”

“You need help, but I’m not the person who can give that to you. Goodbye, David.”

“Don’t hang up, I-“ David pulled the phone away from his ear, face crumpling as he began to cry.

“David,” breathed Moira. She tried to move towards him, to try and comfort as best she could, but her feet wouldn’t lift from the ground.

“It matters not,” said Sybil. “Even if you could reach him, he wouldn’t be able to feel it.”

Moira watched, frozen in place, as David tossed his phone down on the bed and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. He reached for the bedside table next to him and came back with an amber prescription bottle with no label. After a moment he shook two white pills Moira recognized as Vicodin into his hand, tossing them into his mouth and chasing it with a swig from a bottle on the table filled with clear liquid. Moira didn’t fool herself that it was water.

David’s shoulders slumped and he curled in on himself, his expression one of abject misery. She thought about the last time she’d really looked at David’s face, standing on a chair while announcing his engagement to Patrick, love and happiness radiating from every inch of his huge smile and expressive eyes. The David in this timeline was nearly unrecognizable from that man; he looked years older, so worn down and sad it made her breath catch.

“This is what would have happened if we hadn’t lost our money?” she asked Sibyl. “There’s no other possible outcome?”

“This is the path your family was on all along,” Sybil said. “It’s a rare opportunity that is given to very few, to have the chance to start over again and reshape their future. It’s even more unusual for those given the opportunity to embrace it, to grow and learn instead of repeating similar mistakes that ultimately lead them to the same destination. It happens nearly every single time, and the universe weeps at the waste of it all.”

“And with us?”

Sybil’s face broke into a beatific smile. “For the Rose family, there has been no need to mourn. You all have used your free will in the way it was always intended, to become the best versions of yourselves and reap the joy that is its reward. The universe has been cheering for you all along…until now.”

Moira felt a sliver of ice run down her spine. “What do you mean?”

“You’ve wished for this generous gift to be undone.” Sybil’s glow began to change from a warm golden light to a dark crimson, and her smile disappeared. “It is quite offensive.”

Moira glanced over to the David on the bed, crying out when she saw that he had poured the contents of the bottle of pills into his palm, staring at them intently.

“David, no!” she screamed, but he made no indication that he’d heard her desperate plea. She turned back to Sybil in a panic. “I don’t want this! I don’t! I want my children to be happy and loved. I want to be by John’s side for the rest of my life. I don’t want a life without Patrick and Ted and Stevie in it. I didn’t realize, I’m so sorry. Please, let me go back. I swear I’ll never be so ungrateful again, please don’t make them suffer because I’ve been so wrong. You can give me whatever future I deserve, but don’t take everything they’ve worked for away from them.”

Moira fell to he knees, sobbing. It was different from her histrionics over the loss of the Crows movie, coming from a place of clawing fear and dread for those she loved, as opposed to disappointment and injured pride. In that moment, she wondered how she ever could have thought that losing the chance to get her acting career back could have been the worst possible thing to happen to her. Compared to the loss of her family, it was a faint sting as opposed to a death blow.

“You will never have this chance again, to turn back the clock to a time before your fortune was lost,” Sybil warned.

“Thank God for that. I don’t want it, I know that now. I want to go back to the motel and try to do better.”

The reddish glow surrounding Sybil turned back to gold, and she smiled gently again.

“So be it.”

~*~

Moira woke with a sharp cry, clutching her fists to her chest.

John murmured and rolled over in the bed next to her. “Mnph…s’okay, sweetheart,” he mumbled, putting his arm over her waist.

“John!” she cried out joyfully, springing out of bed and flipping on the lights.

“Moira, it’s the middle of the night. What’s gotten into you?”

She jumped on the bed, feeling like the slip of a young girl who’d captured John’s heart so many years ago. “I’m so glad to see you. I love you, John!”

Moira was throwing her arms around her husband when the connecting door swung open. David and Alexis walked through it, blinking owlishly in the bright light and looking very confused.

“I’m sorry, could someone tell me what the fuck is even happening right now?” asked David archly.

“Yeah, totally,” said Alexis, rubbing her eyes. “It’s like, three in the morning. Why are the lights on, and why are you hugging Dad? Ew!”

“My darlings!” Moira abandoned John temporarily to rush to embrace her children.

“Are you having a stroke or something?” David’s voice was wary. “Should we call 911?”

“I’m so sorry, David,” Moira said, releasing her hug and grabbing David’s left hand, looking down at his golden rings. “I’m sorry I ruined your engagement announcement. You know I’m happy for you, don’t you? I lost sight of that in the face of some disappointing news, but I shouldn’t have. I’m elated that you and Patrick are so happy together.”

When David stared at her as if she’d grown several heads, Moira turned to Alexis.

“Alexis, I know I haven’t been present enough for you lately, especially with your journey to the islands with Ted right around the corner. I’ll miss you so much. I’m sorry I haven’t said that before.”

“This is some Dickensian realness happening right now,” said David, eyes wide. “We should be careful if she starts looking for Tiny Tim amongst the guests.”

“Her movie was shelved, David,” said Alexis in a painfully obvious stage whisper. “It might have broken her mind.”

“Sweetheart, maybe you should lie down,” Johnny said.

Moira smiled at her family, all of them looking at her with such love and concern, it made her want to kick herself repeatedly for not appreciating it all along.

“I’ve made quite the scene, it appears. I had a very intense dream and it’s shaken me a bit. I think your father is right, I should go back to bed. We can all reconvene for breakfast at the café tomorrow.”

David and Alexis returned to their room, shaking their heads. Johnny urged Moira back between the sheets, turning the lights back off before he returned to bed, sliding his arm beneath her neck.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

Moira smiled, turning her head to kiss his cheek. She thought about how preferable this reality was to the one she’d been shown, knowing instinctively that her journey with Sibyl was no mere dream.

“I am now.”


End file.
